I find it interesting that one of the essential steps to recovery is labeled as “spirituality”. In short, it’s acknowledging that there is a higher power than yourself.

Granted, what you or I or Bob over there considers a higher power may vary. You could look at your pencil and say “Hey man, this is my higher power. It’s what gets me through the day.” Bob could be like “No way man, it’s my pen.” And I could be like “hey man, whatever” and go for a marker. This is a particularly bad example, but it’s pretty neutral in nature, so I’ll leave it where it stands. The idea is that there has to be something that exists beyond yourself that you can rely on to be true and solid and existing. Something outside of your own faulty self that shares none of your damaged qualities.

This is seen as a cop-out by a lot of people. Self-reliance is the way to go. Emerson was all about believing in one’s own genius and living solely on your own introspection. Of course, he also referred to his intellect as “my giant”.

I dunno about that one.

I guess when we’re mad or depressed or any other negative sort of emotion, it’s hard to think about anything beyond ourselves. We’re angry at the thought of a higher power existing because if it’s so all-powerful, it is in essence letting whatever it is screw us up go on ahead and screw us up. But I think one of the “steps to recovery” in any sense is realizing that you can only be helped if you let yourself be helped. It’s hard to do that when you’re hellbent on your own genius or you as your own saviour.

And that, in a nutshell, is a start. At the very least, it is a start.

On a totally unrelated note, today is mel’s birthday. She’s very pretty. Tell her so.