How is it that the makers of Cadillac and Lexus thought it would be a good idea to make bright-ass space-age colored headlights that blind other drivers, even those operating in night vision mode? Seriously. Those headlights are the worst.

Here’s the woodchip (or whatever it was) I found in my Arby’s burger:

I bought some new hair ties the other day and got a free sample of Goody’s new Stayput hair bands.

They’re advertised as having 52% more hold. More hold than what? Than not using anything at all? Than using a ribbon? Thread? Yarn? Floss? Not to mention, can such a thing even be measured quantitatively? And where’d they get 52%? Couldn’t they have rounded down to 50? And they even put the same boast in three different languages, so obviously they think it’s important to the marketing success of the hair ties.
The Boy says maybe they did measure the hold. Maybe they did it scientifically, by putting up hair with one tie and determining the amount of power needed to pull the hair tie out, then doing the same with the new ties.
He also says, “Men notice horrible hair, but they really don’t notice great hair as much.” How true! To think, one bad hair day could do more damage than a thousand hair days do…un-damage. I have damaged hair. I need to get it trimmed. …muttering, trailing off…

Switch gears.

HINDER. MOTHER FRICKIN’ HINDER. I’m starting a Hinder-Hating Club. Who wants to join? I think they’re completely unoriginal. Their sound is okay overall, but that’s only because they sound just like Breaking Benjamin and Cold and Theory of a Deadman and Seether and Puddle of Mudd and Three Days Grace and every other mainstream rock band out there today. And the lyrics? Oh, #$&@ the #$&@ing lyrics. You have GOT to be kidding me. At least give me SOMETHING new to work with. Tell me something cliche in a new way. Do something different than everyone else. Please. It’s all I ask.

SIGH.

It occurred to me tonight that Green Day would be awesome in concert. Ol’ Matty Boy says it’s one of the best concerts ever, hands down. Now I want to see for myself. If only they’d go on tour again. Alas.

SIGH, again.

Creepy-as-all-hell little girl on back of van:

I want to see Punk’s Not Dead.

That’s it.

Peace, love, and 52% more hold.