ATTENTION:
TOMORROW, JANUARY 23rd, IS FLINT’S BIRTHDAY. Click here to email her Happy Birthday wishes.

Now.
I need a Mag-Lite.

Gr. Argh. We should be more active here at ol’ TD. We should officially Get Our Act Together™ and do all the things we’ve been meaning to do. Alas, we’re busy folk.
I’ve been promising myself I’ll write on here more—at minimum, once a week—in hopes of inspiring other required writing. Lately I’ve been suffering (yes, suffering) from a rather unfortunate and inconvenient case of writer’s block. I have ideas, I have beginnings and middles and endings, but I have no motivation to write. (I won’t mention all the previous times I’ve resolved in vain to Blog More! as a cure for writer’s block.) Anyway, we’ll see what happens this time.

I bought a desk today. I’m excited about it.

There’s something about gynecological visits that has a way of striking dread and anxiety in the hearts of women everywhere. If only I hadn’t given away the rest of my cigarettes this morning (yet again) in a final attempt to quit (yet again), I’d probably have smoked them all in the hours leading up to the doctor’s visit. (And then, of course, I’d have had to smoke one coming out of the Health Center because that’s what people do after they’ve just been…violated.) Hrm. I suddenly have an intense nicotine craving. Maybe I should have taken the Doc up on his offer for the New! prescription pill that apparently works miracles for smokers by taking all the fun out of smoking. Ha.

Okay. I have to make this announcement: I LOVE OVERSTOCK.COM. Seriously. They have high quality items, great prices, and cheap and fast shipping. Seriously. You can’t beat that. Consider this Jane’s January endorsement. Jane’s January un-dorsement, then, is Columbia House. This comes not from myself as much as from my mom, as she’s had nothing but trouble from them. So stay away from them.

You know that “Who would you give a Volvo to?” commercial with the dad buckling in the little girl while she rambles on incoherently? I love that little girl. I think she’s so adorable. And even after TNT showed the same commercial about twenty times in two hours (I don’t even think I’m exaggerating there, but maybe a bit), I still wasn’t completely annoyed with it. I think she’s so precious. I want to adopt her.

So. Bono’s getting knighted. Britney Spears is begging her fans for just a little more faith. The Shins released their new single, Phantom Lamb, and it’s quite fabulous.

I’ve felt like Jenga lately. The game, you know. Like I was whole and then people began taking pieces out of me, poking holes in my sides, my spine, seeing how much they can remove and leave me still relatively balanced. Anyway. That’s that.

I should tell you all The Tampon Story from Last Year and The Red Underwear Tale of New Year’s Eve. Maybe I’ll save those for next time. I’ve already been violated once today, and that’s enough.

Peace, love, and cigarettes.