[i may go down in flames, but i shall not burn]

I had all sorts of things planned today, ranging from running and working out to finally doing laundry and sewing/knitting more things to get dirty and never wash. Instead, I overslept. Did you get the magnitude of that? I not only slept, I overslept, meaning that I got more sleep than was necessary. An end appears to be in sight from going to bed at 4 am and waking up at 8. And while I would have liked to do everything I wanted to accomplish today, I happily take this lack of productivity as a gift.

Sleep sleep, oh glorious sleep. I will never let you go.

A couple of the kids at work told me that they appreciated the fact that I would always tell them the truth, despite it being something that they might not want to acknowledge. Granted, I paraphrased that a little bit. I think the exact terms were “she’ll done tell you straight up and don’t care, but sometimes we need that.” That was kinda nice to hear. I’ve sat January as my date of resignation, but I fluctuate from being extremely unhappy there to having absolutely no concept of leaving. The thing is, my unhappiness doesn’t stem from the job itself, but rather the politics of my position and the constant idiotic flow of drama that, in reality, I know exists in any job environment.

I think a lot of this is just about growing up and resenting it. My only other option seems to be to regress, which I’m not fond of doing. I tell myself it’s senseless to decide these things now anyhow. Two months is a bit in the future and by then, given that I listen, God might give me an absolute answer in lieu of my current indecisiveness. So I pray, and if you pray too, I wouldn’t mind a shout out for me, if you were so inclined.

I need to go make my bed.

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Comments

  1. Comment by Anonymous (you know who I am) | 2007/10/15 at 15:15:35

    Yes, an employee’s duration at CLRTC seems entirely dependent on the most recent shift one has worked. For example:

    1. Leaving from a 3 at 11:47. (That’s A.M.)

    2. Three-and-a-half level one drops (because I mentally planned on dropping the smallest Patient there, only to mentally REVERSE that level one drop because I knew that his doctor wouldn’t consider running around the unit and farting in my face ‘level-one worthy behavior); the overall summation of 2 high assault, 1 mod. SI, and a mild SAO precaution increases; getting kissed on the arm while having a song sung to me about testicles; needing to lock, but not being able to do so because NSG hasn’t arrived (it’s 7:40) and I’m not privileged.

    However, I also proudly champion my honest when working with the patients. As in the case of MM:

    Me: Hey, you’re going to be on level one for all that SAO stuff this morning with me. But before you act out, get upset, and walk off, look at it this way: It’s 20 minutes until lunch, and it’s smelling pretty good [I sniff the air]. And if that isn’t awesome, well, can you just wait about five minutes until I clock out and leave the building before you act out, just so I can go home?

    And it worked.

  2. Comment by jane | 2007/10/15 at 23:19:08

    …did she just say “farting in my face”?

  3. Comment by dismarum | 2007/10/16 at 03:43:47

    Yes. Yes she did. Ohhhhh CLRTC.

    I was charting tonight and read about the “testicles” song (in quotes - thanks for that) and couldn’t stop laughing for about a minute.

    Yeah. Tonight was definitely a January night. The good kids got to go outside and play Ultimate Frisbee while I was left in with the 5 awful ones (3 more than yesterday - thanks for that); plus Don King shat herself while being helped to the QR after she got back from the hospital due to all the laxatives they gave her there to help her pass that Adderall patch she ate. Note: hug containments = bad when patient is not in control of their bowels. Oh, and in case you were wondering, there is NOT an approved abbreviation for “defecation”, because there was some debate on that.

    On the bright side, I’m off on Wed instead of working that 3.


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