So it seems I’ve contracted a terrible disease called laziness. At first I thought I was merely recovering from a serious state of exhaustion, but now it’s obvious I’ve been afflicted. So basically, I don’t want to do anything these days. I don’t even want to leave my house. I want to lounge in my […]

I meant to post this earlier. It’s hanging above the trashcans at work in the employee bathrooms:

Thanks, Pam.
As much as I complain about work sometimes, it can be genuinely rewarding. I was in charge of the overnight shift Christmas Eve and played Santa (a scheme which involved a fair amount of lying and […]

Merry merry Christmas to you all.
You know that scene in It’s A Wonderful Life where James Stewart and Donna Reed fall into the swimming pool and James Stewart keeps dancing in the water and Donna Reed is laughing so hard she looks like she’ll burst? That’s my dream guy, right there. Only I can’t […]

I rolled around in blood for about 50 minutes today after getting brushed to the ground twice by a seventeen year old idiot who claims to be in the Mexican Mafia. This is sort of a long story. More after the jump.

Given that I work with demented children, me saying that this is one of the most horrific behaviors I’ve ever seen out of a child should be worth something.
The “Liza Minnelli” reference is spot on. Ugh.
Carrie Brownstein from NPR has her own take on what this implies about “music” in today’s society. Check […]

I feel guilty when I request the American cheese at Subway. I’m convinced everyone in the restaurant will point their fingers at me and chant, “Xen-O-Phobe! Xen-O-Phobe!” I mean, it hasn’t happened yet, but it will. I think.
In other news, sometimes PB&J sandwiches hurt the roof of my mouth. Is that weird?
So. Here are some […]

If I had a dollar for every time I saw something for sale online that made me say, “What?! Why?!” or “No way” or “Are you frickin’ kidding me?” or “Oh, geez,” I’d have at least a few dollars. Probably more than that. But here are some things so bizarre and random, they left me […]

So on my trip, in between the free drinks and bright lights, I did a significant amount of people watching. Trophy wives who hardly speak English seem to be all the rage still. I’ve always said I don’t really understand people and that still stands true today. Though, to be entirely fair, […]

I take postcard pictures sometimes.
Vegas was awesome. Pete got hit on by some swingers and I’m pretty sure some people were having sex in a bathroom stall when I went in there at 10 in the morning. I’m making it sound trashy, but it’s actually pretty nice, minus the above two incidences. […]

Rather than posting yet another super-long entry, I’ll throw out some short sections for your entertainment and amusement.
First thing up: to help with any of your last-minute online Christmas shopping, be sure to scour RetailMeNot.com and CouponIt.com for promotions, specials, and discounts before hitting “Checkout.” Thanks to ol’ dismarum for the links. I wasn’t aware […]