Sometimes I have irrational bursts of feeling that cause me to not be a functional human being for a good minute or so. Honestly, the intensity of my anger or sadness or jealousy or whatever other negative emotion I could possibly be capable of feeling incapacitates me to the point of almost curling up into the fetal position and screaming bloody murder. Fortunately, this urge lasts on average around thirty seconds and then tapers off before I have a chance to physically act upon it. I’m left feeling uneasy and restless for a small period of time and then I’m stuck with this odd sort of introspection. I think if I were the age of 10 or below, this would be called “throwing a fit.” I’m not quite sure what it’s called into adulthood, besides idiocy.

Granted, I don’t have this problem very often. Very rarely, as a matter of fact. I never have them in regards to current things going on in my life, either. I refer to this entire aspect of me as “irrational” because my impulse to yell and scream is a residual response to a problem or issue I’ve dealt with as far back as five years ago.

Meh.

Things have been going well, though not according to plan. Things hardly ever go that way. I should probably give up making plans. I hardly ever, actually - I’ve found out that I’m the type of person that shouldn’t ever set their life on a track, which sounds sort of pathetic actually, but to me (as of late) just means that God knows me better than I know myself; I just need to learn to let go of my prearranged notions of what I figure should be and work on what is and where I’m at. I’ve been selfish with my trust lately. This is not to say that I don’t trust God - that is not the issue in the least; He is truly amazing in the sense that He’s never let me down, though I hardly ever get what I want (a fact that I’m sad to admit, considering what I want is often at odds directly to what I know I need). I think I’ve been dealing with issues directly related to my pride and a sense of wanting to have control. I have a hard time letting some things go.

Naginata classes are pretty badass.

Final Fantasy: Crisis Core came out today. I’m about to go pick up a copy. I’ve been waiting for this game to come out for three years. Yep. Three.

In fact, I’m out.