In case you’re wondering, the line-up you’re seeing at the top of this page is, from left to right: Mr. Pink (flint), Nice Guy Eddie (nice girl mel), Mr. Blonde (jane), Mr. Orange (dismarum), and Mr. White (kerbey). This is also useful information for flint and nice girl mel, who I’m pretty sure don’t actually know who/what they are. Just take our word for it.

So it takes me all of a few seconds to realize who my next musical obsession will be. As of this morning, it’s now Andy Davis, yet another guitar-playing man who’s caught my eye.
Also, new album from the Fratellis, Here We Stand, is due out June ninth. Mark your calendars. New single comes out May twenty-sixth and is called “Mistress Mabel.” If you haven’t already gotten familiar with them, now’s the time to do so. And remember, you heard it here first. Unless you’ve already heard it, and then you heard it here second. Or third. Or fourth, even. But at least you heard it. Here.

This morning, my pastor texted me to ask if I was able to get him some beer bottles last night. Out of context, that might seem a little odd. But considering our sermon this Sunday is entitled “Getting High,” I suppose it’s not so strange. And they were empty bottles, by the way. Rinsed out and everything.

Speaking of church and segueing into God, I keep thinking about how far I’ve come since last summer. It reminds me of a bridge I crossed with a friend a couple years ago. It was old and wooden and higher than I expected. The wind was blowing—not 55mph gusts like today, but typical West Texas might-knock-you-off-your-feet-any-moment wind. I like to think I’m fearless, but yeah, I was more than a little anxious about making it across that bridge. See:

Anyway, that’s about how I feel regarding my walk with God. August eighth of last year was a life-changing experience, and even with all the heartache that resulted and continues to result from circumstances surrounding it, I wouldn’t give up that moment for anything. In fact, I wish I could live that particular moment over and over again for all eternity—and some day I will—and I’ve felt it again a handful of times since that morning, but for the most part, I’ve had to learn Christianity is not about feeling as much as it’s about knowing. Usually I don’t feel much or I feel too much and I find I’m continually numb to things that other people are so in tune with and excited about things that normally just pass people by.

Even with all the changes and the progress I’ve made in the past eight months, I still get overwhelming desires to fall back into some of my old ways and habits. The drinking thing is only a part of it. So is the thing about having short, meaningless relationships with various guys. And the thing about being openly mean and spiteful and proud and selfish and demanding. Others might think, “How can such behavior be something that someone actually avidly wants to participate in?” And I don’t know, but it’d be so easy to slip just once and fall back. And it’s a long way down. So I pray about it and I remind myself that the bridge was windy and high when I crossed it the first time and not an experience I particularly liked, and next time the bridge might be higher and windier and harder to cross.

In a complete change of subject, I’ve started running on a little trampoline for a workout while watching Third Watch. It’s quite lovely, actually. Here’s what I’ve recently realized about weight: people expect you to work out, eat healthy, and maintain an attractive weight, but they don’t want you to talk about it. As soon as the words, “I need to work out” or “I need to eat healthier” comes out of one’s mouth, a million voices chime in with, “Oh, no you don’t” or “You look fine like you are” or “Don’t worry about it.” Which is crap, really, because if I’ve pulled out my fat jeans and had to buy new, larger jeans and can no longer wear most of the shirts in my closet without looking, well, slightly less attractive, there’s something going on. But I digress now, lest someone start with the annoying you’re-just-fine-like-you-are reassurances, which is also crap, really, because most of you haven’t seen me in like, forever, if at all. So.

I’ve thought before about getting xanadoo for the interweb because Suddenlink is more than a little annoying. Anyone around here use xanadoo? Is it as wonderful as their ads would have us believe?

That’s it for now.

Peace, love, and Mr. Blonde, who I just love love love.