Hello everyone! I’m Maverick.

I swear sometimes I use up most of my time trying to figure out in what order I need to do things to get them done most efficiently. For example, I spent at least fifteen minutes this afternoon trying to decide which books I need to read this weekend and in what order and which ones I have to write reviews over next week when I come back to work…Sometimes I think my brain will explode if I try to add one more piece of information to it. And that’s just all the stuff I worry about for school. I’m not even taking into account the vast amount of personal issues I must deal with on a daily basis. Sometimes I wonder how I even get up in the mornings. Then I remember that Jesus makes it all better. Or rather, Jesus makes it all worth suffering through. And I constantly remind myself that I CHOSE this. I didn’t have to be an over-achiever. I could have stopped with one degree. Or even with two. Sure, I never would have gotten a job, but still, I chose to keep going.

Has this every happened to you? You’re going along just fine in your life, perfectly content and then something or someone gets thrown right in front of you and you wonder how you ever lived without it/him/her. He/she/it makes you ridiculously happy, brings out a part of your personality that you didn’t even know was there, changes the course of your life or at least the way you think about life. And then God sees fit to take whatever/whoever it is away. Maybe not in the sense that you’ll never see them/it again, but they are no longer present in your life the way they have been. What do you do? My first instinct is to ask why. God, why in the world did you show me this if you were just going to take it away? How do you get over it? How do you make the memories go away? I think the answer is to give it all to God. Making Him the center of your life is the only way to keep going. And even when you’ve done that, the memories are still there. The hope that maybe someday that little ray of sunshine that you experienced will come back. And I can’t decide if that’s okay or not. I can’t decide if maybe He showed me something He wanted me to have just so I’d know it was out there. Just so I’d know to have faith, to keep waiting, to not be bitter and to not give up. I don’t know. I can’t decide.

So that’s me. This is the state of my brain and the reason I can’t focus on this lovely afternoon and get some real work done. And now I’m going to take a pile of books home for the weekend and attempt to read more than is humanly possible within a 48 hour period. Have a fabulous evening!