I was sleeping quite well this morning, enjoying a lovely dream, when I heard the annoying sound of tapping on the front door. At least, I’m pretty sure it was tapping on the front door. It took a while for me to become coherent enough to notice. I rolled over and saw that it was 2:45 and then groaned as I got up, found my bathrobe, and pulled my shotgun out from under the bed. Then I trudged off, weapon in hand, to deal with the annoying person who had ruined my dream. No one was at the door, so I haven’t decided yet if it was my imagination or if the new neighbor just forgot which apartment was his. I should explain that I don’t normally greet visitors with a gun, but at 2:45 in the morning I have to go with the worst-case scenario option.

When I got back to bed I couldn’t sleep, partly because I was questioning my sanity, but mostly because I kept thinking about my first night in this apartment. I’ve lived here for nearly three years. That’s the longest I’ve ever lived anywhere except my parent’s house. My first night here was back in February of 2006. I spent the entire day moving my stuff in and getting it all put away in an organized fashion so I was exhausted by the time I got to bed. I couldn’t sleep that night either. I was alone for the first time in my life. I had lived with my parents, with my best friend, and with my now ex-husband. But never alone. I don’t get lonely anymore. It’s nice to have my own space. Everything in my apartment is mine. I didn’t have to compromise or share. I sleep in the middle of the bed now. For the first few months it was hard to do that. You get used to sleeping on one side and it’s difficult to break the habit. That first night I was freaked out and horribly depressed. Starting over is painful. Especially when you start over the wrong way the first time and then have to do it all over again later. At least the second time I had Jesus. Hmmm…the second start-over began in February too. Two years later. Weird.

I think what started as a coherent blog has now degenerated into rambly thoughts. Time for bed. Loads of reading to do tomorrow. Good night. Hopefully no one will knock on your door at 2:45.