the cold war
So today was a horrible day. First of all, a friend of mine brought me an old book of his and told me that he saw it on his shelf and thought of me. It’s a book about Native American women. The title is Mankiller. This comes after a discussion this summer where I was essentially labeled “undateable” by my co-workers. Lovely. Thanks for the self-esteem boost. Apparenlty, if you don’t want to date someone that gives them the right to insult you and imply that no one would want to date you anyway. And maybe he didn’t mean it that way, I don’t know, but I’ve already been struggling with the idea that I may in fact be undateable. I don’t need someone to tell me I’m a mankiller or a ball-buster or whatever else guys come up with to describe women who know what they want.
Wednesdays just pretty much suck anyway because I can’t ever get any work done. I only have short breaks between classes and that’s not enough time to read or write…or eat. So I go all day with no food, which is bad for me.
Now I was already stressed out beyond belief because I have an absurd amount of work to do before next week. Plus I picked up about 80 essays that need to be graded, we have an exam to give next week which means more grading, and I have an exam paper to write for one of my classes that’s due on Tuesday. But I thought I’d go in to teach my classes with a smile on my face. It went away quickly. The first class was great. In the second class, however, there was this girl who never comes to class who promptly informed me that she did not read the book they were assigned and then proceeded to ask me what the Cold War was. Not only that, she wanted to know WHO WON!!! I almost cried. Seriously. The other students were looking at her like she was insane. And THEN she had the audacity to begin answering the other students’ questions, which were directed at me. I mean, I am the teacher. I don’t like to make anyone feel stupid, but damn, that girl is stupid. I was so frazzled and pissed off by the time that class was over I didn’t even want to talk.
I was complaining loudly waiting for my own class to begin when one of my friends walked in and handed me a new book. Said he saw it and thought that it looked like a “Krystal” book. It’s about women and gender in Native American society. I responded with, “you bought me a book?” Then I almost teared up because it really did make my day. Funny how the workday can start and end essentially the same way, but with two very different results from two very different people with completely different intentions. So I’m still stressed, but I have good friends, and that makes a world of difference.
