Dear Wayne with the California Department of Motor Vehicles,

While I appreciated your positive attitude, your interest in my career choice, and your blatant disregard towards my lack of appropriate paperwork for my name change, I didn’t however appreciate your 27 minute scene by scene description of your horror movie script that you’re turning into a graphic novel and hope to eventually market as a video game. In addition, I don’t appreciate your decision to change my birthday. While I do agree that the day of my birth should be celebrated with fireworks, I’d rather not ACTUALLY change my birthday to July 4th, as you did on my driver’s license causing me to have to appeal to Sacramento to have it changed back to my proper date of birth.

xoxo,

kerbey