• can tell you anything about the social history of the United States . Anything.
• predominantly exhibits the symptoms of OCD .
• would survive forever in the wilderness alone.
• thinks “wilderness” means a place without people .
• never leaves home without her aviators (the sunglasses, not the actual pilots), her iPod, and her phone .
• is obsessively loyal to Apple products.
• thinks that Jane Austen is the best author to ever write about anything.
• is constantly reading in her spare time.
• wishes she had more spare time or less reading .
• likes to listen to Frank Sinatra .
• is irritated by people .
• can usually be found teaching freshmen about history, at her desk, or with a book in her hands .
• frequently writes long diatribes against the outdated, ineffective courtship ritual known as dating .
• likes to shoot things .
• loves Jesus .
• is addicted to iced tea, chocolate, and Netflix .